Yesterday I thought I was super lucky. I thought I managed to get through the key milestone of Y starting nursery seamlessly. It was his second day of nursery, and it was relatively painless. He didn't cry when I left, but when I walked in to pick him up he cried a little while hugging me. The day before he apparently only cried for 10 minutes then proceeded to be his usual Tasmanian devil self. Today however, was the third day. I was warned that it will get worse before it gets better, that he will throw proper fits when he realizes that this is a recurring event that he never agreed to. When he starts to think that mommy is so evil, that she can cheerfully drop him off at a place with new big people who try a little too hard to make everything sound exciting, and a bunch of other unfortunate smaller people who are as lost as he is. The third day is when he realizes that life as he knew it, is over.
It wasn't all that easy on me either. The first two days I was the calm, collected mom who gave a quick kiss and hug and walked away. Today, he started crying as I was walking away and I felt awful! It's so hard to keep walking knowing the little guy is tearfully looking at my back, wishing and praying I would turn around and rescue him, wishing I would be his hero. I'm hoping I can still be his hero, maybe if I find a way to wipe this day from his memory?
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