I decided to pull up an old email my son's school sent out a while back, about Safety with Strangers, and I read through it again (with more concentration this time) and I plan to discuss it with my kids. I honestly think we should all have this kind of chat with our kids, no matter the age, every so often.
The information the school provided (see below) is from an organization called Kid Power. What I like about their approach is that they give great tips on teaching your child about safety, but without scaring them and making them paranoid or anxious. Of course every family will have it's own approach, I just thought I'd share this info as I found it very useful. Please share with your friends as well :) and if you would like more information, you can visit Kids Power.
You can teach children to be safe without scaring them – You just need to know how.
Children need to understand that there are different safety rules when they are not in the care of their adult and when they are on their own. Children who are only a short distance away from an adult in charge even for a few minutes are on their own. They don’t need to worry. They just need to know what to do.
Kidpower Tips for Talking to Your Kids About Strangers
“Stranger danger” is an idea that can increase anxiety and make it harder for us to figure out ways of helping our children stay safe.
Instead, at Kidpower we talk about stranger safety. Rather than focusing on the bad things that sometimes happen, we encourage parents and caregivers to focus on teaching and practicing the skills and behaviors they want their children to use to stay safe with strangers.
Be sure that you are calm yourself when you talk to kids about strangers. If you sound anxious, they will pick up on that. Talking about “stranger danger” or focusing on scary stories can increase fear and anxiety for everyone. Instead, tell kids in a matter-of-fact way that you believe that most people are GOOD, and that this means that most strangers are good, but that a few people have problems that might cause them to hurt kids.
Tell children that they do NOT have to worry about strangers if they follow the safety rules. If children are by temselves, the safety rule is to come and check with an adult first before getting close to or talking to anyone they don’t know well. Help kids come up with specific examples of people they know well and people they don’t.
Kidpower Safety Rules for Children when They Are on their Own
- Most people are good. This means most strangers are good.
- A stranger is just someone I don’t know and can look like anybody.
- The rules are different when I am with an adult who is taking care of me and when I am on my own. When I am on my own, my job is to check first with the adult in charge before I let a stranger get close to me, talk to me, or give me anything.
- If I am old enough to be out on my own without an adult to ask, it is safer to be where there are other people close by to get help if I need it.
- I do not give personal information to a stranger or to someone who makes me feel uncomfortable.
- It is OK to get help from strangers if an emergency is happening to me, and there is no one close by that I know.
- My job is to check first with the adult in charge before I go anywhere with anyone (a stranger or someone I know). I will tell the adult in charge where I am going, who will be with me, and what I will be doing.
- I will have a safety plan for how to get help anywhere I go.
- I will know what my family’s safety rules are for children answering the door, being on the phone, and being on the internet.
To Be Able to Follow These Rules, Children Need to Practice These Kidpower Skills:
- How to stand and walk with awareness, calm, and respectful confidence
- How to move away and stay out of reach from someone approaching them
- How to walk away from a stranger without waiting even if that person is being very nice
- How to check first even when someone they know and trust says not to
- How to get help from a busy or insensitive adult if they are lost or scared
- How to make noise, run, and get to safety in case of an emergency
- What to say and do if a stranger approaches them at home
Kidpower Safety Rules With People Kids Know
- I belong to myself–my body, my time, my spirit–ALL of me. Touch for play, teasing, or affection has to be both people’s choice and it has to be safe.
- Except for health, no one should touch me in my private areas (the parts of the body covered by a bathing suit).
- No one should ask me to touch them in their private areas.
- Touch or other behavior for health or safety is not always a choice, but also should never, EVER, have to be a secret.
- I do not have to let what other people say control how I feel.
- Anything that bothers me should not have to be a secret.
- If I have a problem, I need to tell an adult I trust and keep on telling until I get help.
- It is never too late to get help.
To Be Able to Follow These Rules, Children Need to Practice These Kidpower Skills:
- Saying “No” to unwanted or inappropriate behavior using polite clear words, eye contact, and assertive body language
- Persisting even when someone uses bribes, hurt feelings, or power to try to pressure them into doing something that makes them feel uncomfortable
- Protecting themselves from hurtful words
- Verbal choices for getting out of potentially dangerous situations
- Getting the attention of busy adults and telling the details about situations that make them confused or uncomfortable
xx
D
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